July 2, 2019
Deciding to break up with your partner or significant other, or separate and divorce from your spouse can really take an emotional toll on those involved. This is especially true if you and your partner or spouse have a child or children together.
If it has been agreed upon that joint custody is in the best interests of the child, you and your ex-spouse or partner have the serious responsibility of learning to co-parent in a healthy way that positively impacts your child.
A professional divorce attorney or custody attorney can help you cope with many aspects of your break-up, separation or divorce. Additionally, if you take a close look at these helpful tips for co-parenting and put them into practice, you can better ensure that you and your spouse are providing a safe and comfortable environment for your children to thrive in.
Manage Pain and Anger Effectively
Depending on the reason for you and your ex-spouse’s or partner’s split or divorce, you both may have negative feelings towards the marriage, separation, divorce itself, and/or one another. It’s very important to manage these feelings without allowing them to affect your behavior, especially when your child is present. Confide in a trusted family member or friend, vent to strangers on an online forum for divorcees, or hire a therapist to work through your pain and anger in a healthy way. When in the presence of your child, try your best to always stay focused on their needs and what is best for them.
Never Put Your Child in the Middle
If you hold onto bitterness or resentment towards your ex-spouse or the relationship, do what you can to compartmentalize those negative emotions and keep in mind that it is your weight to bear, not your child’s. Using your child as a messenger between yourself and your ex-partner will only confuse them, hurt them, and make them feel like a pawn. Keep your issues with your ex to yourself as much as possible and avoid speaking ill of them around your child. Remember that your child has the right to a relationship with each parent that is free from the influence of the other.
Establish Healthy Communication with Your Ex-Spouse
The term co-parenting itself implies that both parents need to work together in order to remain consistent and on the same page when it comes to parenting your child. If one parent allows a specific behavior and the other punishes it, the child can easily misunderstand what’s right and wrong. Avoid confusing them by communicating frequently and openly with your spouse to establish common rules for behaviors, bedtimes, etiquette, homework, and other important aspects of your growing child’s life.
Your Experienced Divorce Attorney in Westminster
Alan Billian is a divorce and family law lawyer based in Maryland. To learn more about how to co-parent successfully and manage emotions after divorce, visit our home page and scroll to the form towards the bottom of the page to claim your free chapter of Alan’s book, Happily Separating, or feel free to contact us for a free legal consultation.